It’s happened from time to time… you’ve looked at another person and judged them for who or what they are, their actions, behaviors, life decisions… you name it, you may have judged someone for it. You may confuse “judging” someone with having actual concern for them, and there is a big difference. When you are concerned for someone, you still think the best of them and know who they are, you just voice your opinion to help them head in the right direction or to avoid making, what you believe, to be a mistake. When you judge someone, you assign a value to them, positive (but usually negative) and let that judgement cloud your opinion of them and how you feel about them or act toward them. But you need to stop this now and here’s why:
1. You don’t know what they are going through.
Unless you’ve walked a day in that person’s life, you may not know what they’ve been through, what they are going through or what has led them to be the way they are. Give them a break, the benefit of the doubt and some compassion and stop judging them.
2. You are probably no better.
When you judge someone you sort of put yourself in a position to judge them against your own standards and moral values, but behind closed doors you are really no better. You call someone glutinous for eating a whole pizza at a party, but then you go home the next day and eat two dozen wings in front of the TV and ice-cream for desert while no one is watching. Instead you should be praising them for not being afraid to be who they are and do what they want in public.
3. You are probably projecting and judging yourself.
When you judge someone, again, you hold them up to your own standards, but sometimes the things you judge people for or notice most about people are the things that you your self are insecure about or have problems with. You judge someone for wearing tight clothing in public, however it may be because you struggle with your own self-esteem and aren’t comfortable enough to wear those clothes. Before you judge, decide if the “pot is calling the kettle black.”
4. It’s mean.
If someone is comfortable being a certain way or doing a certain thing, as long as they are happy, who are you to judge? As long as someone doesn’t hurt you in any way, live and let live. Let them march to their own drummer, I’m sure they are letting you march to yours. Stop being mean and just enjoy your own life.
5. It brews negativity, gossip and negative energy.
When you judge someone sometimes you may be brave enough to say it to their face, but other times you spend your time gossiping to your friends about them. What good does this do? Your friend probably thinks you’re a jerk for it, or they may just agree with you to move on from the conversation – but either way all it does is stir up negative energy that you just don’t need in your life.
6. It’s a waste of time and energy.
Judging people is a complete waste of time. The you spend stewing over it, the time you spend judging, and the time you spend thinking or expressing or getting worked up over your judgements is just time completely wasted. No good will come out of this and it takes away from your own life. If you are truly happy and confident with yourself and your own life, you won’t have the time or energy to spend on judging others or putting them down.
7. You ruin friendships.
When you judge someone, at times you say hurtful things to them and to others. Nobody likes to be judged, they like to be accepted for who and what they are. The hurtful things you say can and will get back to them and it will hurt your friendship/relationship. If you can’t accept a person for themselves and be a positive influence on their life, then its really your own life that needs to be worked on.
8. Because you don’t want to be judged.
Do on to others. If you don’t want others judging you for surface value, when they have no clue about who or what you are and what you have gone through or are going through, then don’t do it to others. Its a negative quality that only brings negativity to your life. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
9. You’re not Simon Cowell.
Nobody made you Simon Cowell. No one gave you authority to decide what is right, wrong, or correct in this world. People choose to live their lives the way they want to live them and no job has ever been assigned to you to pass judgment on them for living their lives the way they want to. There is no right or wrong and no one person has any authority over someone else to decide what should and shouldn’t be.