There is a bad reputation that comes along with the phrase “giving up”. All our lives we are taught never to give up, to keep trying, and to keep rising every single time we fall, but when is it ever ok to just throw in the towel? Is it ok at all?
In most cases, it’s not ok. When you are fighting hard to achieve a goal or dream that you aren’t sure can be reached, or is just too difficult, it may feel like you have no other choice but to give up, but this is definitely not the time. When there is something you want bad enough, I’ll be the first to say never give up, keep trying, learn from your mistakes, put the work in and you will find a way. If you want something so bad it’s as much a part of you as your beating heart or the oxygen you breath, never give up on your dream or on what you want.
However, under the following certain circumstances, giving up is actually “OK”.
1. If your goal has become dangerous and jeopardizing your physical health in a very bad way. You may have a dream to be a fashion model, but if it’s leading you to a life of anorexia and stress, it may not be the dream for you.
2. If your goal is damaging your mental health in ways that affect your personality and your every day life. Sometimes the repeated defeat or failure on the road to success can be too much for a person. You have to know your limits. If chasing your goal is impacting your health and personality in a seriously negative way, its time to reevaluate what you really want.
3. When you have found a new goal, dream or aspiration that your heart believes is much more important and worth pursuing. Some women have left their big careers to raise and have children, a dream that is more important to them. Its ok to move on from one thing when you want something else more.
4. When you have exhausted every single one of your options 3 times and there are simply no options or methods left to accomplish what you are trying to accomplish. While there’s always a way, sometimes there just isn’t a way. You have to be realistic, practical and know when the meter is up. You will need to be ok knowing you gave it your best and understand that there was just nothing you could do. (But if there is… don’t give up until you’ve tried them all!)
5. When someone is being abusive, hurtful, dangeorus or damaging to your life, it is definitely ok to give up on them and walk away. You don’t need people in your life that are bringing you down or negatively impacting your happiness. Give up on those friendships or relationships and move on to bigger, better things. It’s not you job in life to save or fix or change others, especially not at the cost of your own happiness and health. If someone is not treating right, or you are in a situation that is damaging, it is ok to give up on them and move on.
6. When your heart just isn’t in it anymore. People’s interests and desires change and evolve as they grow and experience new things and sometimes a passion you once had just isn’t your life dream anymore. It’s ok to let it go.
7. When you’ve reached your threshold/limit. Sometimes enough is enough. If you can confidently say you’ve been the best you can be, you’ve given it all you can, you’ve put the time in and done the work, but are still not getting what you want out of something, or someone, or an opportunity or job, it is ok to move on to bigger and better opportunities.
8. If you are truly unhappy. Yes dreams and goals can cause pain, stress, and be very hard work, but for the most part, they should be things that you truly want and find enjoyment in. If you are just not happy anymore and finding that chasing your dream has become more of a nightmare, it’s ok to let it go and move on. Happiness is key.
9. When it’s just not meant to be. Some things you may be very skilled at in life or have a natural talent for while others you’ll have to work at. And then there are some things you may want in life, but no matter how hard you try, physically, mentally, chemically, or any other way… it’s just impossible for you to be those things, it’s ok to give up, knowing that you at least tried. It may hurt and it may be difficult to let go of this dream, but if it’s just not right, sometimes, at no fault of your own, there’s nothing you can do. Actors, actresses, performers have a 1% success rate in their field. So many have had to come to terms that it’s not in their stars and they need to find new opportunities and interests. You never know, those new doors may open windows to your original dreams.
10. When you have bigger priorities. Taking care of your family, loved ones, yourself, your finances, your job are extremely important, especially when they depend on you. At times you may not have to necessarily give up on a dream, but simply push it back or save it for another time when things in your life are more stable and under control and you have the time to dedicate to your dream.
11. When you want to win the war, or it’s just not worth it. Sometimes there are certain battles in your life that you are fighting that are simply exhausting resources, energy and your mental stability that don’t bring you any closer to where you want to be in life. You need to pick your battles, be strategic and go head to head only when it matters most. Giving up a battle on something doesn’t mean you are giving up completely, it means you are being smart, and choosing to live a more stress free, productive and happy life. Sometimes giving up on something leads to compromise or a peace treaty between others and sometimes you need to give up on something because the consequences or the headache of sticking to your guns is simply not worth the reward you’ll actually get out of it
12. When you have given it 220% all day, every day, have exhausted every option imaginable, and are at peace knowing that you have truly done all you could possibly do and that you gave it your complete heart and best shot possible… it is ok to give up on a dream that just may not be in your cards or out of your